Sorry, but not sorry.
You really would not believe some of the stuff that has come out of peoples mouths in the last 20+ years. This will be a work in progress as my memory dredges up the craziest statements that I have had to endure. I will start out with: People say more crazy shit when they are NOT sedated than when they are.
-"what do you mean you can not legally pull out my perfectly good, restorable tooth? I want it pulled out because I don't want to deal with dentists any more. If you pull it out I don't have to clean them or pay to fix them.... Seriously, I want it done... isn't that enough..."
- "Can't you just pull them all out and put dentures in?" (If you don't get this one, you don't have dentures... YOU don't have dentures, not my mom/dad/aunt had them for years. YOU don't have dentures. That's why it does not seem stupid to you. Believe me it's bat-shit-crazy talk)
-"Oh, I'm 42, I'm not going to live much longer. So it's not worth investing anything in my mouth, can't you just clean them and I'll be on my way."
- "I'm going to die tomorrow..." (So you decided to spend your last day alive getting a new patient dental exam done?)
- "I have not been to the dentist in 5 years because when I was 10 years old (insert incident here).... Yes, I'm 56 now"
- "I'm old and have my PERS, so I only have so much to spend"... "I'm on a fixed income" (if you are offended by this one, and don't understand why this is shit to say to a current working professional, YOU are the problem.)
- "I'm going to write to the dental board and have your office closed down, your fees are way to much and I believe you are cheats. I'm good at writing letters, I'm going to have your license for this."
- "you are required by law to fix my teeth, whether I can pay for it or not, book me an appointment. You know it's part of that -physicians code thing posted in the ER".
- "I clean my teeth at home, I got those tools from that Harbor-Depot place, tell you what they work really well. So I'm telling you, you don't have to do anything, I just wanted to you to check because after I cleaned my teeth last time, this back tooth started to wiggle around (inserts finger in mouth and pushes back tooth over) I don't think its supposed to do that"
- "It's not my fault, it's my genetics."...
- "I want to keep all my teeth, I can not go into dentures it's not an option, I will go destitute before I have a tooth removed. I'll do anything to keep them" (insert treatment needed) "Yeah... well I'm going to have to think about that, after all I have bills to pay and it's just a tooth. I probably don't need it".
- "So who's going to pay for this?"
-"Yeah, I got a total deal man. I got a vacation in Mexico: 5 days paid with hotel, and they took all my teeth out and put implants in, then they screwed this denture in. It was amazing! So cheap, and I got all these teeth. Such a sweet time, I had so much fun and it was totally worth the $1500. But now I don't have the time to go back down there, can you just take a look-see and tell me why when I bite down on anything my teeth move around and it kind of hurts? I bet its a cheap fix man."
- "you know: dentists charge like $300 to glue a cap back on, why pay that when I can go to the hardware store and just buy that gorilla glue stuff? It was so much cheaper. I just must have done it wrong because it did not stay on, and it glued my mouth shut.... can you just slap it back in, I brought the glue, I just can't see back there."
- "I am morally, and ethically required to see a dentist who is contracted with my dental insurance"
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